Keep wandering ..

Am i a good friend? Am i good enough as a bestfriend? **please tell me!

I do have alots of friends and i do have bestfriends. I treated them all like what i treat to the others. No special treat specifically. All same. when i feel you guys are the one who can i called as a friend, then you are my friends!

*once you are my friends, you will always be my friends .. i love all my friends ..

When i feel that i have give all out as a friend, always there for my friends, share their problems, give a shoulder for them to cry on and always available for friends.

... BUT, i feel that some of them seems dont see me as their friend yet. They IGNORE ME .. I was like, they dont keep my words! I always said that "im always available for them" but still, i know, they dont come to me. They come to the others! they dont tell me, they think i dont know BUT, i know what you dont know.

*you know what i feel? I know you dont bother to know what i feel. I FEEL HURT. Its likely that i dont have friends.

When i have problems, when i need friends, when i need someone to share my story and when i need a shoulder to share my sadness .. Sometimes, i dont know where to go, i dont know who am looking for, i dont know which friend i should search for ..

Somehow oneday when i really need friend, i just texted my chatterz which is now my friend, i confessed what i feel. I feel really broke at that time.
He said ' why dont you find your friend? Or you bestfriend '
Then i said ' i dont want to disturb them. They have their own business '
Then he said ' eh, if they are your friends, they are always beside you whether when you're happy or when you are down. If they weren't, DONT CALLED THEM YOUR FRIEND '

I love my friend with all of my heart, cos for me, friends is no 2 of my family. most of my time are with friends, i share, i laugh with, i crazy with and everything with friends and that is why i like to be friend with all of them who are pleasure be my friends ..

This lately i feel really broke but i cant tell what i feel to my friends instead i told kaka mimi ='( i dont want to tell my friend, once i tell, they are likely dont want to hear me, i know, its the same story, again and again and i think they are getting BORING already! and thats hurt to hear over again and again 'owh', 'sabar' . I need someone who can inderstand me and YOU ARE NOT ONE OF THEM.

Should i called you my friend now? Or should i think about what he said?

* friends is someone who beside you whenever you need, always available for you, always there for you and keep asking you whether you are good or not. Someone whose beside you in whatever condition you are.

If they come when you are happy only and they are disappear when you have a problems or sad, then you SHOULDNT called them a friend.

>> where are you now for me? WHERE? WHERE? WHERE?
If you think im like a rubbish, there you go .. Eventhough im hurt, you will definitely dont care!

will be post next.